After Family Ditches Brother’s Wedding, Man Sets Boundaries By Ignoring Their Texts When They Come to Him For Advice

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    I decided if they don't care about my brother, I don't care about them I'm not going to go no contact or make some drama around it but I decided I'll throw the same excuses they gave to my brother.
  • 02
    r/AITAH ⚫ 15 hr. ago Miserable-md Most of my family didn't come to my brother's wedding so I decided to stop caring about them. AITAH?
  • 03
    Background: My younger brother got married this past July. We have a huge family and half of them didn't come (dad's siblings and their families; mom's sisters and their spouses, grandparents, some of our first row cousins). They all gave some bs excuse but the real reason was my brother
  • 04
    the real reason was my brother married a guy instead of a girl.
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    I decided if they don't care about my brother, I don't care about them I'm not going to go no contact or make some drama around it but I decided I'll throw the same excuses they gave to my brother.
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    Present day: I'm a pediatric resident so all of my cousins or their wives always text me when their children have something. (Side note: my country has free healthcare, but it's more convenient to text me than to go to their doctor) anyway. On Friday one of my cousins texted
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    me, I opened the text, saw it was a medical related thing (but not that could be remotely deadly) and decided to ignore the message. She texted me twice over the weekend. This is the second time one of my cousins tries to get (non urgent!) medical advice since the wedding.
  • 08
    Today my aunt call me in her behalf and told me family help are there for each other, I told her "funny, I don't remember any of you at my brother's wedding". which of was the start of a long monologue.
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    My mom, who is an LGBTQ+ ally is standing by my but my dad who is more "old fashioned" says I need to understand and be "tolerant" towards people who don't think like me.
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    So, should I just "forgive"?
  • 11
    RaddishSlaw • 14h ago NTA You don't have to be an LGBTQ+ ally to just not be an AH. Just tolerant and respectful of other people's lifestyles.
  • 12
    Those people weren't tolerant of your brother's choices so why do you have to be tolerant of them? Is about reciprocating their behaviours.
  • 13
    You have nothing to forgive, you just aren't doing the first giving.
  • 14
    NONEOFURBIZZ • 14h ago Bless you for realizing what your brother has to go through and standing beside him. NTA, let their homphobia help themselves.
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    SeductivexXxMaira • 14h ago No, you're not the It's completely understandable to feel hurt and disappointed by your family's actions towards your brother. You are entitled to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being.
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    Britt Bee9293 14h ago NTA. I hate the whole "family helps family" mantra. If it was really about family "being there" for one another, you're right, they would've gone to and supported your brother's
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    wedding, regardless of their beliefs. I 100% would do the same thing in your position, why be in contact with people like that? Your dad is a hypocrite preaching that you need to be tolerant and understanding/respectful of others differing beliefs,
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    when those same people clearly couldn't give your brother the same grace. Homophobia is definitely playing into them not having attended, and allyship is a verb, and good for you for doing something about this treatment. People
  • 19
    get back what they put into the world; if they don't support your family why support theirs? Blood relation doesn't also equate family; sometimes people are just AHs.

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